Saturday, 3 September 2016
My Friday Night Watching the Movie "Unfaithful"
I did something interesting on Friday. I didn’t bring lunch in, but rather than go out at lunch to get food, I decided to just not buy anything and instead drink powdered tea. My mother has been to an Asian supermarket and has purchased powdered tea that comes in satchels. The powdered tea comes from Korea (from a business named Damtuh) and is made of ingredients like black beans, soybeans, and rice. Rather than going hungry, I found that I was able to keep myself quite full and get through the day. In the afternoon I also had two bananas and an almond latte. I left work right at five and went to the gym. I am thinking of measuring what I do in the gym so that I can track my progress. I am hoping this will motivate me more.
When I got home on Friday I had a big dinner of cauliflower, mashed potatoes, oranges, avocado, carrots, and potato. After this I drank two cups of green smoothie (a blend of green leafy vegetables, Earth Protein, and a banana). Then I had high-protein hot chocolate, which is pretty much just a chocolate flavoured protein shake mixed with soymilk and boiling water. I prefer warm beverages to cold beverages, so I like to drink my protein hot (in a mug rather than in a shaker bottle).
Given it was Friday night, I finished watching a movie on Netflix called Unfaithful. I enjoyed watching this movie considerably, and it was close to home for me because of the adultery and divorce between my parents. What I thought was interesting was that the couple in this movie tried very hard to shield their child from the adultery, to protect the child, but my parents didn’t do that. They pretty much tried to get me to choose sides, and then I was asked to bail them out because they were in debt. I followed them because I used to look up to my parents and respected them, but in hindsight I realize I was exploited and used. Basically what happened was my father took money out from the family home using a home equity line of credit, and he used this money to fund his womanizing and to start a family with a new woman, and then when everything was discovered, my brother and I were the ones who paid off the loan. All this shattered any faith or trust I had not only in my family but also in anyone. I simply don’t trust anyone, and I have now walled myself off from everyone. I don’t want or need friends or family. I will never get married, never have children, and I will do everything in my power to eliminate dependency, debt, commitment, obligation, and duty. The objective of my life is to continually increase my freedom by increasing dividend income, and I will use this dividend income to shield myself from the world and do what I want to do rather than conform to society, which wants me to be a slave so that, understandably, I can make money for businesses so they can pay dividends to their shareholders.
There are many things in my life that have traumatized me, and it’s easy to just dismiss my problems as first world problems, but these problems are still real to me, and any problem can be rationalized away by comparing it to an even worse problem. A problem is still a problem, even if it’s less of a problem than some other problem.
It's also easy to dismiss my problems by saying that I should just man up and take responsibility for myself rather than blame my parents, and I have done that. I don't blame my parents. I don't blame anyone for the atrocities they commit. I simply react and protect myself. I am taking action to wall myself off from society and become an urban hermit who is funded and protected by dividend income.
When I think about it, I like my life. I have Netflix now, and I am starting to watch movies now rather than just watch YouTube, and I have noticed how much movies socialize you into a conventional way of life. For example, while watching Unfaithful, I was attracted to marriage because it looked like the marriage that the couple in the movie had was very nice. However, this would not have been apparent had I watched YouTube because YouTube is brilliant at sniffing out what you’re interested in and suggesting you watch it, and I am simply not interested in relationships.
My plan is to either share accommodation with others and then block them out of my life as much as possible or to live alone. If I feel lonely, I can easily get some friends on Meetup or even Tinder, but if I meet a girl on Tinder I just want to be friends with her. I have tried using Tinder while travelling solo overseas and it works fine, and it even works where I live now as well, although lately I have just gotten tired of socializing, so I uninstalled the Tinder app and then installed Netflix instead. I’d rather spend a Friday night watching a good film than going out. The pleasure from watching a good film is so much better than going out. Going out is quite boring. Most girls out there are boring, and I think it’s because they are spoilt because there are so many men out there willing to entertain women just so they can have sex with them, and so women expect men to bring to the table a certain level of entertainment and for their efforts women will reward the man with sexual favours. But I don’t care about sex with a woman because, if I wanted sex, I can just go to a registered brothel, and there are plenty of registered brothels here in Victoria Australia. Going out with women is also expensive, and there is an expectation by the lady that the man pays for everything just to signal to her that he is rich, which is important for women because they want to marry rich men and take their money. Not all women are like this, but enough are.