Friday, 29 November 2013

My lying family

URL: Louise's father was a cheating scoundrel who had two other families. So why does she blame it all on her mother?

I've read the article above and it reminds me of my father who is now on his third wife. My father was away all the time when I was little, and it wasn't until I was older that I found out what was happening. 

Most people were surprised that I didn't seem to care about the lies, deception, cheating, adultery, and so forth. I didn't get angry or lash out at anyone, but deep down I am extremely angry. I will never forgive and I haven't forgotten about it many years on.

I can hate my father all I want for what he has done but the reality is that what is done is what is done, and all I can do now is just disrespect him and never follow any of his commands. Rather than be a loyal son, I just do what I want and expect him to follow me, not the other way around. I will never help or support him or take care of him when he is old. In fact, everything is already set. His new wife will need to take care of him as he gets older, as will his new children (my half-siblings). I don't really need to think about my father. He has a lot on his plate with his new children. They are a handful.

My mother is alone now, and I have become her de-facto husband, which I resent because I feel like it is my right to be my own person. My mother is my mother, not my wife. My mother is my dad's second wife. I don't know if my father cheated on his first wife with my mother and I have no idea whether my mother knew that my father was cheating on her with his third wife. In a way I feel it is her fault for not being suspicious enough of her husband or lover, and I don't feel like it's fair for me to suffer as a result of her lack of due diligence.

I have changed my attitude now. If people around me are liars who try to control me, there is no humour in my conversations. I don't smile. I am serious, and I tell them that they are to follow my commands or else I will hurt them, and if they try to push me or control me, I will push them, and I will hurt them if they push me too hard, and I am prepared to die to defend my boundaries.