Work was terrible today. Over the weekend I was meant to work on a report because I had been putting it off for so long. However, I didn't manage to do any work on the weekend, so I dedicated today to finishing this report, and I found myself working on it the whole day. Even at the end of today, I still haven't finished this report. I will have to continue it tomorrow.
During the day, I had to juggle other work as well. I also had angry or passive aggressive people calling me to chase for things that I needed to get from others, so juggling all these things just made me feel weary and tired. Because it was Monday, I was feeling tired from recovering from sleeping in during the weekend, and to top it off, today was an extremely hot and humid day, even at night time. I had two fans on at the same time on my desk. There is an air conditioner outside my room, but if I open the door then there is too much noise from outside.
It's days like these when I seriously think about early retirement. Every now and then a day like this pops around. Days like these have been popping up ever since the beginning of my career, and it's one of the reasons why I am so obsessed about early retirement. I need to give myself the option to retire early because I don't want to be a wage slave for life. That is not an option.
I also hate my job. I know some people love their job, and it is great for them if they do. However, I hate my job. My job is tolerable, but it's not something I enjoy.
Anyway, today I realised that perhaps I will need to pare down my ambitions. Perhaps I need to accept retiring with less so that I can retire sooner. Alternatively, I can work for longer and retire more comfortably later. But perhaps I don't have it in me to work too long. I feel drained now. I feel stressed. Work is just too much for me. I hate it, and I am not going to pretend I love my job.
Some people say that I should move to a different job and do something else, such as something more related to my university degree, or doing more quantitative or technical work, or perhaps work in a non-profit. But the problem with these ideas is that I will need to somehow get into these jobs. I don't have any experience in these areas and I would need to go to interview after interview, and even if I am successful and get the new job, who is to say I won't hate it there because I am overwhelmed by work, or perhaps the manager turns out to be a bully? The more I look at it, the more I realise that the solution is not to find good work but to have a plan to end up not working at all. There is something about having money dangled in front of you that destroys your soul.
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